I think that I just may be over her. It only took almost two years, dozens of hours spent listening to sappy breakup songs and hundreds of hours replaying memories for clues.
For some reason, every time I went to Logan, I thought I might run into her. Me, there with a shoddy sign crafted at the airport to greet the new campers, watching all foreign arrivals fresh out of customs, she would appearing from behind the automatic doors. My pulse would turn to lead, deadening with each passing second. Shocked, she would stride over.
"What are you doing here?"
I relived this fantasy everyone I found myself at Logan with that same sad sign ... and she never appeared. Perhaps through that same fear I changed my mind about the arboretum, Jamaica Plains, but that was also intertwined with my own laziness.
I was pitifully wistful in my time Boston, I've never been tigeraso, and so, taking in my penchant for romantic songs and ballads, I spent a lot time talking about her to whoever would listen. Telmo's heard my stories, so did the teachers, who were all women, her memory would not leave me alone. It wasn't until I was aboard the upper deck of the double-decker Megabus en route to NY that I realized that I had left her behind. It only took almost two years.
Flash forward to NY, rediscovering its delights and catching up with friends, it's now that I'm entering a sort of renaissance. I've been on five dates since I've been back and even using the word "date" is strange, I've never been one for dates. My usual m.o. is that I meet potential partners through friends, family, school or work. As a given, that means that you can usually skip the awkward asking out in favor of something more vague and non-committal, like getting a cup of coffee our a bite to eat. The dating thing isn't so bad, though, and like with anything it takes some practice. I get nervous as hell whenever I know I'm gonna meet a complete stranger but after a couple of good dates, you get used to it.
I have plenty of guy friends that tell me that I just need to "stroke anything that moves", yes, this is what dudes really sound like, and I get it, it'll help (or at least scratch that itch). What I needed was a bit of catharsis, a change in environment and a little courage ... and some patience for good measure.
